Iron King: Survival Guide
by Mayflowers123
Summary: Don't worry, All those Fangirls out there that have gotten inexplicably tossed into their favorite book series that is, I now present my Iron King Survival Guide! Luck be with you!
Welcome to my Iron King survival guide! Within these pages are tips and tid bits on how to survive then Nevernever. This story if for Iron King only and none of it's sequels so I can't promise any helping hand on how to deal with your love for Ash or how to control you powers. Most of all this story is me calling you (Megan) out on all her mistakes and then telling her where she went wrong. So while not really helpful you (might) find it amusing!

First things first, when you little brother, who is normally the best behaved kid you know, bits you and then you best friend tells your brother is a changeling also known as a summer fey from the land of Nevernever and he is the infamous Robin Goodfellow, Also a summer fey, you call the cops and the insane asylum. You _do not_ insist on going to Nevernever (which he has repeatedly told you is dangerous) to retrieve your little half-brother from the mythical dangerous land that you have absolutely no proof is real, but if you do choose to follow this path then the advice I give you into not jump into this without being prepared. Pack a backpack with a change of clothes, energy bars, plenty of water, matches, and anything else that's important that can fit, but don't make the bag to heavy. Most of all wear comfortable shoes.

Now if you really have your heart set on going to Nevernever I wish you luck. Once your there what you need to do is be very careful and in no circumstances should you delay your journey. The path will already be dangerous and the longer you delay the more opportunities for things to go wrong. For example, say you guide says to not for any reason step off the path because everywhere else you are fair game. Then do not stop and go smell the roses by the river. If you aren't attacked by the time you've taken two steps then the kelpie will probably drag you into the water and eat you. No joke. This truly is an amazing and well written book for preteens.

Okay I'm going to assume you have done what I have told you not to. You have strayed from the path and hopefully for a good reason because it may just be you last. Well I'm assuming that it was that winter prince Ash and his hunting party chasing you and Robby, you best friend, puts you in a tree so that he can go deal with Ash. Then you meet Grimalkin you friendly neighborhood Cat Sithe that says in return for a favor he will take you to the summer court. If there is one thing you should never ever do is out yourself in debt to a Faerie because they are sadistic little buggers that have no morals, none. Trust me, when they say "I'll help you… for a _small_ favor." You do not say "aww thanks hun, I appreciate it" what you do is look for other options, check to make sure that no one coming to the rescue, and then if all else fails agree to the favor but put in place some conditions like for example say you have the right to veto any favor you find too extreme as long as you give sufficient reasoning or you will do nothing physically, mentally, or emotionally damaging that is permanent.

Well you've gone and done it you struck a deal and now you're at the Summer Court but surprise, surprise little Ethan isn't there and suddenly you owe the glorified Cheshire Cat a favor, could this day get any worse? Why yes, yes it could. Now you've met biological father Oberon, King of the Seelie Faeries and he's commanded that you shall be attending the ball, called Elysium, that is being held between the Summer and Winter courts to renew treaties and contracts. Here's my first advice; from what you've heard of the fey by now I hope you know do not allow yourself to be trapped alone by someone you do not know, do not thank anyone because as far as there concerned you just acknowledge a debt to them, make sure you know how to dance it will probably save you a lot of trouble, and most importantly learn manners befitting of a princess even if you were born out of wedlock. Fey look for weaknesses, so don't have any.

Good job! So far you had managed to survive the ball with only minimal injury but tragedy strikes and suddenly there's a Chimera in your midst (which later is learned that it is controlled by outside forces aka Iron fey) and the Courts have blames each other and are close to all-out war. Uh oh. Now that's put you in a bad position because you are half human and not as strong as the other fey so the Winter fey will target you to get to Oberon. What you need to do it stay put and near the castle so they have to go through guards to get to you, ask your father for weapons training to be arranged, learn how to control the power you inherited from your father, and never be caught without at least two backup plans.

Seems you didn't take my advice and chose to leave to find Ethan. Not only that but you put yourself more into Grimalkin's debt by having him take you through a trod to the human world to get to Tir Na Nog land of the Unseelie Fey (winter faeries). Shame on you, silly half-fey. Well, if you insist on doing this here is what I recommend; take advantage of Robby being there to help. He's old and powerful he probably has contacts that will help and so far he hasn't asked for anything in return. Also I know I've said this before but be careful your pretty much prime hunting material, maybe keep some iron on you since it's poisonous to full-blooded faeries but not you or maybe get some iron bullets and a gun, it certainly can't hurt (you anyway).

Wow, really just Wow. You managed to get through the trod to the Unseelie lands just to run into Ash, Youngest son of Mab the Winter Queen, and of course while Robby and Ash are fighting you're taken into a cave where Ironhorse, a mysterious iron fey, who tells you that the Iron King has your brother and now that you know the Iron fey have Ethan you are determined to rescue him. Good luck. Wait! But no! There's more. Now you've done it (idiot),you struck a deal with Ash which says that he will help you to rescue Ethan and in return you will go with him to Tor Na Nog. Man you really do like doing stupid things don't you, well I have no other advice to give you but see if there is any loopholes in the deal after all it only says you will go to Tir Na Nog it never says anything about staying, have Robby ask around and see if he can find out anything about the Iron Fey, and most of all learn how to defend yourself.

Well you've gone and done it now haven't you? Robby's hurt and you left him with the dryads to heal but not only that you're going into the Iron Kingdom with a full-blooded fey which you have little reason to trust. Oh brother, and God help you. I applaud your positive attitude and here's some things that may help, since you know that iron won't work on the _Iron_ fey you might want to try to find some of their weaknesses, scout the area of the Iron Kingdom before you enter the Iron King doesn't seem like he wants to kill Ethan so you do have time, and if you're planning to use the witch wood arrow to kill the semi-invincible Iron King LEARN HOW TO SHOOT A BOW (accurately)!

Congrats! You killed the Iron King almost at the cost of Ashes life but he survived so good job. You've absorbed the iron kings powers so you have Iron and Summer Glamour (Powers) so +1 on the awesomeness scale. Rescued your little brother Ethan and returned him home and last but not least you and Ash have admitted your love for each other and every things a Happily Ever After! Right? Wrong. You still have to go to Tir Na Nog with Ash to face his mother Mab. Wow you really have just traded on bad thing for another haven't you? Well here's my advice; does the contract stipulate a date of which you must return to Tir Na Nog if not then wait until you have a plan to get out after all if Ash really loves you he can probably do at least that, but if all else fails and you must go pack warm clothes, you have no idea how you will be treated by your soon-to-be captors, keep an ace up your sleeve to help with your future trouble, and most of all trust no one. I wish you luck!


End file.
